喼神 Paul Ho (God of Briefcase) PAUL HO's unHOLY QUOTATIONs

PAUL HO’s unHOLY QUOTATIONs (All in Chinglish/English because SPC is an EMI school)

  • Open the door and see the mountain (翻譯: 開門見山)
  • There is a Chinese saying … (翻譯: 俗語有話…)
  • Don’t put your hands under your desk. People might think you are playing some toys.
  • Why you should not put your hands in your pocket?
    People might think that you are having a lucky draw.
  • Why you should not put your hands under your desk?
    People might think that you are playing some toys.
  • Detention Club: Lifetime membership
  • Fishing Club (上堂釣魚/こっくり)
  • Mr. Tso, a poet who can make a poem in seven steps (翻譯: 七步成詩)
  • ICAC might stand for “I Can Accept Cash” (When he taught EPA)
  • The term “tertiary industry” (三級工業) might have a better Chinese translation…
  • ICAC might stand for “Ice-Cream And Coca-cola”
  • ICAC might meant “I Can Accept Cheques”
    (I overused his “I can accept cash” in his Econ class, so he changed it to checks)
  • Good Family Education (有家教)
  • If someone is not happy with you, they’ll say hello to your family(問候你全家).
  • If you use credit card in King Fu, they might say hello to your family(問候你全家).
  • People don’t cry until they see the coffin (翻譯: 唔見棺材, 唔流眼淚)
  • Lots of St Pauls boys go to HKU……………………….for lunch
  • Kill the monkey to warn the chicken (殺雞警猴)

編者的話: 喼神雖然係懶,但佢嗰種老狐狸智慧喺一般學校裡面唔會學到。教得唔好唔緊要(喺聖Paul度讀都予咗至少一半係咁,自己執生係一門必修課),最緊要係佢唔煩唔管小事。喼神口賤(尤其係sarcasm)嘅功力超深,我喺佢身上學到唔少。如果你能豁開要佢教econ嘅期望,俾佢教都幾頂癮。

我認為係聖Paul教書嘅先生,教得好唔好唔係最大嘅問題; 最重要嘅係識唔識得同學生相處,同埋醒唔醒目。聖Paul嘅學生一般都唔會因為你係學校教書嘅就尊重你,都係要靠自己嘅真才實料(人際技巧係其中之一)贏返嚟。好似龍捲風呢啲得把口講,同埋超叔呢啲無自知之明嘅低B動物,要贏得聖保羅學生嘅尊重起碼要等多十世。我承認間中有啲學生會去認同啲無料到但好努力嘅先生,但我唔會咁做。

總而言之,係聖Paul教書都咪話容易,好多時都要睇天份。好似Ms Wai呢啲遲到早退嘅,偏偏係有料之人。佢火爆嘅脾氣反而教曉我有時對人好口啲好多時會幫你逢凶化吉。仲有我F.1俾飛機張教Maths大考38分,F.2俾Ms Wai教Maths大考全級第二,你話呢。


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Holo Fans Club: Hologarithm

師弟們向何老致敬嘅作品 Hologarithm. 基本上係 2005 年聖保羅書院會考(中五)畢業屆筆錄上堂同何佬交流嘅回憶。

Download:

Hologarithm v7.0

最尾頁嘅特別鳴謝嘅 Holo Fans Club

http://dogbert.servehttp.com/holofansclub/index.htm

係我當年貪得意整出嚟嘅網頁。已經棄置好耐冇 update。内容已經重新整理到 WordPress:

http://wonghoi.humgar.com/blog/category/school/spc/holo-fans-club/

師弟嘅 Blog:

http://ringo503cw.blogspot.com/2008/04/hologarithm.html

 94 total views

Holo Fans Club: 新世紀何老主義入門 (by 趙克倫) Introduction to Hololism - A New Philosophy for a New Century

Download: 新世紀何老主義入門

新 世 紀 何 老 主 義 入 門

INTRODUCTION TO HOLOLISM
A NEW PHILOSOPHY FOR A NEW CENTURY
ORIGINAL BY
THORIUM HOLMIUM (ThHo) SULPHATE
(B. SC, HKU; CERT ED., HKU)
(19XX-20XX)
EDITED BY: SMALL POTATOES (B. PH. SC, HORNS., HK(CEE)= 9U)

 

發憤啊!
CH 1 聖保羅冇希望啦! 你睇吓, 人哋寶翠園影名校影英皇, 聖類斯都唔影我哋呀!
CH 2 你哋俾啲心機啦!
CH 3 DON’T CRY OVER THE SPILT MILK
CH 4 A. MATHS 都係大家係度鬥背數
CH 5 你地自己搞掂啦
CH 6 YOU WILL HAVE 3 TESTS NEXT MONDAY AND TUESDAY
CH 7 冇人咁做㗎
CH 8 PEOPLE USUALLY DO IT LIKE THIS
CH 9 我趕住上堂㗎
CH 10 數學冇 MARKING 㗎
CH 11 攞到 A 都唔恭喜你
CH 12 最多俾多十分鐘你哋
結語 香港水平真係好差! (如果你會考 MATHS 同 A. MATHS 考到 A 返學校剝佢棚牙)

 

 284 total views

Holo Fans Club: 何老銘句 – 字字剋骨瞑心,敢人廢苦,頂心頂肺 俾何老寸過的人有如天上的繁星. 「眺那星,原來係我師兄」

  • Pythagoras’s theorem 有成 300 幾個 Proof, 你地一個都證唔到
  • 神愛世人
  • 你睇下人地寶翠園影英皇,聖類斯都唔影我地呀
  • 攞到A都唔恭喜你
  • 你地好劣呀
  • 發憤呀
  • 就算俾你攞到個E又點丫
  • 阿彌陀佛
  • 愛因斯坦五歲個時被佢先生當眾鬧佢低能,教唔掂。所以我唔敢話你地。
  • Why don’t start like this?……. (你用一版紙黎做, 佢用三行)
  • Use them (formulae) only when they are useful!
  • [她們有 boy friend 在 spc 的…..(聽聞)] 何佬同[我]講…. 「不智,未入教堂乜野都未定… 有好野自己收埋嘛~ 而家show左出黎就冇架喇… 仲有…. 俾人知道個 bf 日日講粗口、唔交功課… 上堂又訓覺 … 乜都知道晒.. 有咩好?」
  • 人此終都要死ga……
  •  exam is coming/waiting for us…..
  •  Lots of St Pauls boys go to HKU……………………….for lunch

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Holo Fans Club: FAN 屎來信

From: “Anthony Mak” <anthomak@hotmail.com>
Subject: 何佬啊!快D更新呀!
Date: Mon, 23 Sep 2002 18:16:19 +0800

以下兩宗乃真人真事!一定要登出!!!
或者只登他說的最後一句…

==========================

二千零一年Easter, 何佬補D.
我有D悶, 便轉身向林屴汧問: “如果你老母是x五次,咁D你老母是乜?”
佢好快答: “五既x四次.”
佢隔離的問佢講乜,佢就較大聲地覆述一次.
豈料何佬聽到,便轉身說:”做敗類都要做斯文D既….”

同年, 何佬寫十條功課在黑板上.
一位叫魏炮灰(花名)的同學說: “唔係卦! 咁多!”
何佬同佢講: “(D功課)少你都唔做啦!”
??? 係唔係精警地講粗口??????

==========================

可能何佬只是同我地班講過, 但我希望這兩件事人人(支持HOLOFANSCLUB的人)都知…
如果對上述事件有懷疑, 可以問沈宏基同李匡架… 睇我ICQinfo都得…

麥健熙(anthomak@hotmail.com) ICQ#: 160432281
4F (2001-2002) Maths, A. Maths
5F (2002-2003) Maths, A. Maths

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 267 total views