Hoi Wong


Engr. Electrical Engineering
Stanford University

M.S. Electrical Engineering
Stanford University

B.S. Electrical Engineering, Mathematics (Honors)
University of WisconsinMadison


Draft Resume (Contact me for tailored versions. My main areas are signal processing & optimization, biomedical, MATLAB and software engineering)
LinkedIn Profile (Might be outdated)

MATLAB Community Profile

Email: wonghoi.ee @ gmail.com
Cell: 650-804-5024

 

Technical Strengths (Consulting/Coaching Level)

Adaptive Algorithms

Thesis area

Signal Processing

Teaching concepts

Solid Mathematical Foundation

Translate between equations and English: absorb an abstract concept and break it into layman terms

 

 

Advanced MATLAB programming

Graphical user interfaces (GUI)
Complex data systems: structure design
External interfaces: DCOM, compiler
Acquisition interfaces: data acquisition, instrument control, serial and parallel port I/O
Advanced programming: vectorization, advanced data structures (dynamic fieldnames, cells, sparse cells), language idioms.
Dataset Objects (Statistics Toolbox)
Jacket GPU Parallelization
Object Oriented Programming
SimBiology

Instrumentation & Measurements

Hobby

 

 

Complexity management

Practicing and teaching organization and troubleshooting skills in electronic projects, programming and workflow.

Advanced computer skills

Hardware and software consulting. Build PC, plan, deploy, and troubleshoot systems, etc.

 

Teaching (TA) experience at Stanford University

Spring 2010

EE 122B

Biomedical Electronics Laboratory

Spring 2008

EE 367B

Applications of Fast Fourier Transform (Music 421)

Fall 2006

Physics 105

Analog Electronics Laboratory

Spring 2006

BioE 200C

Medical Device, Diagnostics, and Pharmaceuticals: Technologies, Regulation, and Applications

 

Music 421

Applications of Fast Fourier Transform (EE 367B)

 

Technical Skills (See Resume)

Simulation Software

MATLAB, Simulink

Math & Stats Software

Maple, Igor

Programming

C# (with GUI)
C++ (with STL)
C (also low-level programming)
Parallel GPU Programming with CUDA (C, C++), Accelereyes Jacket

Embedded Systems

Atmel, TMS320, ARM, SHARC

Electronic Circuits

Component level projects and repair.

Web-technologies

XML and XSLT scripting

Computer Consulting

Windows Administrative Scripting

 

Research & Publications

Active

<1> Macro-Adaptive Filter: new algorithms to break the mis-adjustment tradeoffs in LMS and other algorithms alike

 

 

Pending

<2> Spectral effects of non-stationary inputs on Convergence of LMS with Aaron Flores (EE373A/B, inspired the current active research)

 

<3> Fast Algorithms for Pseudo-periodic Parameter Estimation - Particle Swarm Optimization and Fixed Point Iteration on INRT equation

 

 

Past

[4] H. Wong and W. A. Sethares, “Estimation of Pseudo-periodic Signals”, IEEE Proceedings of International Conference on Acoustics, Speech and Signal Processing, Montreal, May 2004.

 

Work / Development

Finished

(MADIT-CRT) ICD study database

Dr. Paul Wang, Department of Cardiovascular Medicine,
Stanford University School of Medicine

Past

Automatic white balance, gain and exposure control algorithms in digital still camera

PortalPlayer Inc. (2005)

 

Proof-of-concept prototype of neonate hearing simulator

Professor Gerald Popelka, Stanford University School of Medicine (2004-2005)

 


 

Light Presentations

ジョージ・カーリン (George Carlin): スタンフォード大学の日本語クラスのプレゼンテーション (Delivered at JAPANLNG 19, Stanford University)

Dilbert Presentation for the Professional World: Delivered at ECE 350 (Professional Expression) at University of Wisconsin - Madison

 

Technical Write-ups

Frequency Domain Interpretation of COLA (Constant Over-Lap Add)

The derivation of Poisson summation formula and the alternative view of COLA criterion (Nyquist) uses IDTFT, which are basically time domain equations. Therefore, I find it more like algebra than intuition. To my belief that every LTI system has a frequency domain interpretation, I spent a whole day working on it.

An observation: Poisson summation is in fact one of the tricks to derive the Fourier transform of an impulse train (which is also an impulse train). You can prove the Nyquist-COLA dual without Poisson summation if you know the impulse train Fourier pair.

More write-ups in pseudo-sciences and science education ...

  

Casual Writings

Original News Article: No Machine Can Do My Job As Resentfully As I Can
My Parody version for Stanford: No Students Can Take The Quals As Resentfully As I Can

 

Languages Points of Interest

(日本語)           九品芝麻官 シーン 吹き替え (広州殺人事件)
(
國語)               相聲瓦舍 - 東廠僅一位 - 髒話篇
(
廣東話)           鄭中基俾黃浩然問候老母@追擊八月十五
(國語)               官員廢話典範
(
台語)               大埔阿罵
(國語)               張帝 - 毛毛歌
(American)       English as a Second F*cking Language: How to Swear Effectively
(American)       The Slangman Guide to Street Speak

(
廣東話)           詹瑞文 - 笑爆咀
(台語)               唐伯虎點秋香

 

I'll get myself killed for posting these. PLA of PRC, knock yourself out:

I appeared on the last page of the Time Magazine by accident.

Jiang Zheming’s rage (1).

來生不做中國人- 除非是貪官
(Translation: I don't want to be a Chinese in my next life, except being a corrupt government official.)

The Australian: Charles and the Great Chinese Takeaway [February 24, 2006]

Nations of the World (by Yakko Warner): Again, I insist: Taiwan and Hongkong are INDEPENDENT countries!

 

 


Read this:

Condoms are cheaper than diapers (http://imgur.com/gallery/PeHaO)

My favorite YouTube video:

Durex Baby App

My favorite essay:

道德的起源 (Source of Ethics: A monkey experiment

My favorite Onion News Articles

Johnson & Johnson Introduces ‘Nothing But Tears’ Shampoo To Toughen Up Newborns
I'm Quite Eccentric Within Accepted Societal Norms
Fun Toy Banned Because Of Three Stupid Dead Kids
Chinese Class Clown Executed
FDA Approves Depressant Drug For The Annoyingly Cheerful
Obama To Hold Job Performance Review With Every American Worker (All cliché rolled in one)
Little Boy Heroically Shoots, Mutilates Burglar

New Prius Helps Environment By Killing Its Owner

 

My favorite comic strips:

Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: S:\WWW\images\2008-05-23.gif

Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: D:\Personal\Websites\Stanford\images\2006-08-21.gif

STANFORD Magazine May-June 2007 Features Philip Zimbardo Q&A on Evil

 

I’m the blue one who tell you the true ending of a fairy tale: 1, 2

 


 

My favorite quote(s):

I put much more faith in people who went to established Ivy-League universities and bought their grades the old-fashioned way

the Onion American Voices

In 2011-12, Stanford is a $4.1 billion enterprise
(Re: This school is more of a business than an university!)

Stanford Facts 2012
Stanford University

Leadership is a form of evil. No one needs to lead you to do something that is obviously good for you

Scott Adams
Dilbert Blog

Do you know how you can help your children? Leave them the f**k alone

George Carlin

火炬應該係運動員渣,唔係呢0的人渣

網友(72)
曾憲梓做2008奧運火炬手的反應

あんた達が力を合わせても無駄。ゼロは幾つ集まってもゼロ!
Translation: It’s hopeless even if you work together. No matter how many zeros you add, you still get zero

藤林杏
C
LANNADの台詞

Let's face it, we're not changing the world. We're building a product that helps people buy more crap - and watch porn

Bill Watkins (CEO of Seagate)
CNN Money

l'enfer, c'est les autres

No Exit
Jean-Paul Sartre

Women: You have no values. Your whole life, it's nihilism, it's cynicism, it's sarcasm, and orgasm.
Harry (Woody Allen): You know, in France I could run on that slogan and win.

Woody Allen
Deconstructing Harry

I’m not done confusing your moral compass

Scott Adams
Dilbert Blog

Yakko: If at first you don’t succeed, blame it on your parents.
Wakko: How deep!

Yakko Warner | "Animaniacs"
(Wheel of Morality, Yakko’s World episode)

If you scratch a cynic you will find a disappointed idealist

George Carlin
The A.V. Club (the Onion)

(Blackadder punched William Shakespeare right in the face)
Blackadder (to Shakespeare)
: This is for every schoolboy and schoolgirl for the next four hundred years.
Have you any ideas how much suffering you are going to cause?

Rowan Atkinson (Blackadder)
Blackadder - Back and Forth

Rules were made to be broken; therefore, suggestions are made to be ignored

Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook

泣くまで殴っていい?
Direct Translation: May (Shall) I beat you up until you cry?

藤林杏
C
LANNADの台詞

If you have this idea in your head that there's a finish line that you can cross, then you'll probably get hit by a bus

Conan O' Brien
The A.V. Club (the Onion)

PHB: Dilbert, I've decided to promote you to management!
Dilbert: What? Why? I didn't do anything wrong!

Dilbert TV

Bad guys have all the fun

Rowan Atkinson (Blackadder)
Blackadder's Christmas Carol


"mmm ... it might make sense ..." (after a few seconds) "...but not to me"

Sanjay Lall
EE 207A Class (Fall 2007),
Stanford University

This is one of the benefits of being a judge, (Mr. Rice), I can pretty much do whatever I want

Annie Corley (Judge Laura Burch)
"Law Abiding Citizen"

This is a court of law, young man, not a court of justice

Oliver Wendell Holmes

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty

Norm Crosby

Capital punishment is as fundamentally wrong as a cure for crime as charity is wrong as a cure for poverty

Henry Ford

The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced

Frank Zappa

Rather let the crime of the guilty go unpunished than condemn the innocent

Justinian I
Law Code, A.D. 535

Judge: a law student who marks his own papers

H.L. Mencken

Having your fate rest in the hands of a jury is the same as entrusting yourself to surgery with a mentally retarded doctor

Bill Messing, quoted in Dream World
 Fred Woodworth

Good lawyers know the law; great lawyers know the judge

Author Unknown

Stanford treats students criminally

Streleski
(Disclaimer: I like my advisor though)

Go do something you hate! Being miserable builds character!

Calvin’s imitation of his father
Calvin and Hobbes (1990-12-07)

Trusting parents can be hazardous to your health

Calvin
Calvin and Hobbes (1986-05-25)

If you’re born, it’s too late

Hobbes
Calvin and Hobbes (1987-03-21)

I never signed up for this group! I wasn’t even consulted.
The only reason mom and dad are my parents is because I was born to them!

Calvin
Calvin and Hobbes (1987-09-14)

I had resolved to be less offended by human nature, but I think I blew it already.

Hobbes
Calvin and Hobbes (1988-01-03)

I keep forgetting that rules are only for little nice people

Calvin
Calvin and Hobbes (1988-11-11)

Yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet

Calvin
Calvin and Hobbes (1995-10-31)

A lifetime of experience has left me bitter and cynical

Calvin
Calvin and Hobbes (1995-11-18)

孩子把玩具當朋友,成人把朋友當玩具
Translation: Kids treat toys as friends, adults treat friends as toys

鄭淵潔

你有壓力,我有壓力,你做乜挑釁我呀?
Translation: You’re stressed, I’m stressed. Why f**k with me?

‘Bus Uncle’ incident

最好的人與最壞的人製造歷史,平庸之輩負責傳宗接代
My Translation: The best and the worst of the breed make history, the rest make babies.

 

History is a set of lies agreed upon.

Napoleon

至於大陸............他們的民主很簡單。你是民,我是主。
My Translation: In China, demo-cracy is simple: all opponents are demo-lished by the auto-cracy.

 

If you give someone a program, you will frustrate them for a day;
if you teach them how to program, you will frustrate them for a lifetime.

 

Left brain has nothing right.
Right brain has nothing left.

 

Perl - The only language that looks the same before and after RSA encryption.

Keith Bostic

Professor: I’m done, but you’re not.
(Said in the last class lecture before final exam)

Stephen Boyd
Stanford University

You know you’ll hate something when they won’t tell you what it is

Calvin
Calvin and Hobbes (2007-01-26)

The very definition of hell is having to maintain someone else's Perl code.

Anonymous

I say, if he can do it, and get away with it, and he chooses not to be bothered by the ethics, then he’s home free

Crimes and Misdemeanor
(Woody Allen movie)

See, you don't have to outrun something if you can outwit it.

Garfield
Garfield and Friends (Season 1)

Garfield: You know what happens to a liar?
Devil Garfield: They get jobs doing the weather on TV.

Garfield

Lawyer: I really resent that!
Becker:
Well then my work is done!

John Becker
Becker

Garfield: Don’t tell anyone I did something nice, okay? I got an image to make.

Garfield

Jake: Revenge is a big part in your life, isn’t it?
Becker:
You kidding me? It’s the best part of waking up

Becker

 That made no sense. You’re going to make a great therapist

Becker

 I’m gonna make him think that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel,
then I’m gonna be the train coming the other way. Bwahahahaha

Jake
Becker

Linda: Dr. Becker, if you win the lottery, will you quit being a doctor?
Becker: in the middle of an operation.

Becker

The purpose of school is to prepare our kids for the real world, but in the real world people don’t give a shit.

The Onion News

Reggie: You are a miserable human being
Becker: Doesn’t mean I’m not right!

Becker

Wow, even your compliments sucked!

Reggie
Becker

Patient: I’m dying
Becker (Doctor): We’re all dying.

Becker

Becker: Why is it so hard to believe? I like having a good time. I like people.
Margret: No you don’t!
Becker: I’m trying to like people, but it’s so hard to weed through the stupid ones.

Becker

Becker: If you have a problem, just deal with it like an adult
Patient: You meant drink.

Becker

Kid: I don’t get it. You said adults were supposed to handle their problems in a mature way.
Becker: I tried it. Didn’t work

Becker

Hey, I earned the right to bitch

Becker

Doctor Becker: As a matter of fact, I treat the diseased with kindness and understanding so that they can come back to the society and lead a productive life robbing convenient stores for drug money.

Becker

Becker, M.D.(trying to discredit an acupuncturist): Oh Really? I went to Harvard
Acupuncturist (with a priceless smile on his face): I taught at Harvard

Becker

 Well, every time I think God can’t screw me any worse, he pulled out the old Black and Decker and twist a little harder.

Becker

I’m going to find this guy, and scream loathsome cold words until his ears bleed

Becker

I see people doing something stupid. I tell them that they are doing something stupid.

Becker

Opinions are like butt, everyone’s got one and you don’t want to see yours on a newspaper.

Margret
Becker

Aha! You can keep your mouth shut if you were under water

Margret
Becker

You are a lying bottom feeding low life publicity whore.

Becker

Everything I said is purely motivated by stupidity

Becker

Reggie: I can’t understand why you can’t be more positive?
Becker: Oh, I’m positive. I’m positive that every single day the evil forces of nature out there waiting to screw me.

Becker

You got a cat that gets rid of people?! Can I borrow it?

Becker

Becker, M.D. (as patient): My test showed slightly elevated cholesterol
Roger (his doctor): You know what that means.
Becker: Yah. Filled with buttery goodness.

Becker

Reggie: Becker, will a lucky day destroy your view of life as a bleak and punishing hell?
Jake: Aaah… take you a while Reg, but you finally figured him out.

Becker

It’s always about you being right, isn’t it? No wonder your marriage is falling apart.

Linda
Becker

Becker: We already have the perfect relationship. She (the lady at the diner) cooks my food, cleans up after me, neither of us listen to a thing the other said. It’s like marriage without the heavy lift.

Becker

Becker: As soon as you get involved with a woman, it’s only a matter of time before you’re the next contestant of ‘Guess why I’m mad’

Becker

Patient: Doctor, what is it with boys? They don’t stop. They don’t fear anything. All they do is run, scream and jump. And they spit. What is that about?
Becker: Ah. It’s a guy thing.

Becker

Doctor: How many times do I gotta tell you. You kill pain with liquor and you ease stress with cigarettes. You don’t have to be a doctor to know these stuff.

Becker

That’s what’s wrong with the world. Everybody says everybody does it. So everybody does it.

Becker

Becker: What kind of scam are you people running?
Insurance adjuster:  I know, I know, it’s just terrible. Isn’t it? If ever there’s a business that needs a serious reform, it’s ours.

Becker

Becker: After you burned me on your old policy, you’re trying to sell me a new one?
Insurance adjuster: I know, I know, I just can’t help myself.

Becker

Becker: I’m going to sue you people! I have a very aggressive lawyer!
Insurance adjuster: Just one? Bwahahahahhaha!

Becker

The only problem with playing by the rules is: you end up playing with yourself.

Jake
Becker

Linda: Hey doctor! Do we ever acknowledge our patient’s birthdays?
Doctor: Only when they stop having them.

Becker

Margret: What do you think about a cruise?
Becker: Great idea. A bunch of people I don’t know doing things I can’t stand in a place I can’t escape from.

Becker

Bob: Why don’t you give me a shot?
Reggie: Give me a gun.

Becker

You gotta really cook those things (hamburgers). You’ve ever been to a packing house? It’s disgusting!
You got blood, ground up meat all over the place, crawling with disease. It’s like Vegas for bacteria

Becker

Patient: Vasectomy is the only way to make sure there weren’t any mistakes. You are my family doc, every one of us is an accident.

Becker

(In a sarcastic tone) Amazing! You actually have the ability to create your own reality and live in it.

Margret
Becker

Father: I admire you. You always say what’s on your mind. No matter what other people think. I never could do that. I’m in sales. I always have to be nice. You know how hard it is to be nice all the time?

Becker

Doctor: Have you been on any narcotics or hallucinogens?
Patient: No, but if you think it would help.

Becker

God is a concept of man

Becker

Becker: I thought you didn’t even like God
Jake: Doesn’t mean I don’t believe in him

Becker

Religion is supposed to be about people being nice to each other.
But frankly I don’t see a lot of that.
You know what I do see is a lot of people using the good book to say that they are morally superior.
I see people building TV stations to bill grandma out of her pension checks all in the name of God.
How about all those God feared people killing other God feared people because they don’t fear God the same way.

Becker

Friends come and go. Cigarettes are always there for you

Becker

It’s a medical fact: Men said what they mean. Women set traps to see if you can guess what they mean.

Becker

If you want to know about woman, you don’t ask a woman. Think about it. You want to know about meat, you ask the cow?

Becker

Just like what it did with me. Life will smack her down soon enough.

Linda
Becker

I tried. I call the Catholics, the Jews and you’re right. They said they wouldn’t pick him (the bum) up. The Buddhist said they wouldn’t pick him up either but they said I should be okay with that.

Margret
Becker

I don’t blame you for being nervous. 12 people who were pissed that they couldn’t get off jury duty are going to decide for court for the rest of your life.

Jake
Becker

Lawyer: What’s the matter? You are ashamed to admit that you are a prostitute?
Witness: No more shame than you should be to admit that you a lawyer.

Becker

I guess I also learned something about practice in medicine: it’s not just about healing, but also about covering your ass.

Becker

(To the therapist) I don’t need work. Society needs work.

Becker

The world will never become a better place until morons like that are held up to a higher standard by candyass pushovers like you (the therapist).

Becker

(To the therapist) That’s great! You’re just as angry as I am. You just hide it behind the cardigan sweater and the saccharin smile.

Becker

Therapist: When I first met you I though you are the one with the problem. The more I thought about what you said, the more so, I think you might be the sanest person I’ve ever met.

Becker

You’re right about what you said about not letting other people all over me.

Therapist
Becker

Show the judge that you are not going to be the slave of the system.

Therapist
Becker

(To Becker) Come on. It’s no fun if you don’t get upset.

Reggie
Becker

Well it’s official: Love’s not only blind, it’s deaf and dumb

Becker

Becker: I’m about to beat the system!
Everybody: Oh…no….god….not the system again

Becker

I got germs in my lung. I’m trying to smoke them out

Becker

Why do parents think it’s front page news every time their kid farted?

Becker

Bob: Why do you even care?
Reggie: Because I’m a nice person, I have compassion.
Bob: Yea, try selling that on eBay

Becker

Happiness is a myth. People are just brainwashing to think they’re supposed to want something more than they have

Becker

Nothing good ever comes from telling me to shut up

Becker

No expectation. No disappointment.

Becker

Let me give you some advice here: Don’t dream. Don’t hope. You are never going to make a difference. And you’re never going to get what you want.

Becker

Margret: May be what you did was the right thing.
Becker: How come I feel like crap?
Margret: That’s how you know.

Becker

The next time you want to pet an animal, try a dog. New York squirrels have way too much attitude

Becker

I’m thinking even Oprah will kick her butt

Margret
Becker

I knew the rest of my life is garbage, but I had the illusion that I was doing something here.

Becker

The world is filled with idiots. Somebody has to point it out to them or they’ll never know. If they don’t know, they can’t change. Believe me. They need to change.

Becker

That’s what relationships are all about: doing things you hate with somebody you love.

Becker

I’ve been to Disneyland: more kids, not the answer.

Becker

If your husband’s unemployed, and your house is on wheels. Maybe you ought to buy less beer and more condoms

Becker

You are free not to like me either as long as you do it for the right reason. And if you don’t like that you can kiss my ass.

Becker

Oh … just another casualty of organized religion

Becker

問君能有幾多愁,恰似一群太監上青樓。
Translation: If you ask me how sad it is, I’d say it’s like a group of eunuch going to a whore house.

雷人网事

No, I'm not a pessimist. At some point the world shits on everybody. Pretending it ain't shit makes you an idiot, not an optimist

Sam Halpern
Shit My Dad Says

The whole world is fueled by bullshit… What? The kid asked me for advice on his science fair project so I’m giving it to him.

Sam Halpern
Shit My Dad Says

It's never the right time to have kids, but it's always the right time for screwing. God's not a dumbshit. He knows how it works.

Sam Halpern
Shit My Dad Says

Son, people will always try and fuck you. Don't waste your life planning for a fucking, just be alert when your pants are down

Sam Halpern
Shit My Dad Says

Sometimes life leaves a hundred dollar bill on your dresser, and you don't realize until later that it's because it fucked you

Sam Halpern
Shit My Dad Says

Jake: Hi Ron, we’ve been at this for a long time now, and still can’t find anything to convince you that your life is worth living
Ron: Doesn’t that tell you something?

Becker

80 year old Patient: Chicks. You got to tell them what they want to hear

Mr. Bennet
Becker

(To Dr. Becker): Oh they are building you a condo in hell as we speak

Margret
Becker

Patient’s Brother: That’s OK. I forgive you.
Doctor: Like you have a choice.

Becker

(After Linda said something pointless but sounds deep) Margret: Linda, you have got to stop watching Oprah

Becker

表面だけ繕って、腹の中で何考えてんのがわからない奴、大嫌いなのよね
Translation: I hate people who act nice but you can’t figure out what they are thinking.

フォルテ
ぷちはうんど

コトリ:裏表のある人間なんて掃いて捨てるホドいるとおもいますケド?
フォルテ(IQ 250博士号を持つ天才):そうね、だからあたし大半の人間嫌いなのよ

ぷちはうんど

お金めちゃくちゃ好きなのよ。お金って、人間と違って裏切らないし面倒臭くないでしょ
Translation: I like money a lot. Unlike people, money won’t bother or betray you.

フォルテ
ぷちはうんど

Yakko (King): I appoint you to be the minister of all girly things that I don’t understand.
Dot: That covers a lot of ground.

Animaniacs

If doctors practiced medicine like managers practice management, most of them would be in jail

Jeffret Pfeffer
Stanford University

Stop waiting for things to get better or for other people to acquire power and use it in a benevolent fashion to improve the situation

Jeffret Pfeffer
Stanford University

People are often their own worst enemies, in part because people like to feel good about themselves and maintain a positive self-image.

Jeffret Pfeffer
Stanford University

Sometimes it doesn't pay to be nice.
Nice guys get the shaft.

By Joel Provano
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution

真正的壞人外表是看不出來的
Translation: The truly evil people are the ones who never appear like one.

宋少卿
相聲瓦舍-比壞

如果不小心已經當了半輩子好人、現在學壞還來得及嗎?
Translation: If I accidentally lived half of my life being a decent person, can I make it in time to turn bad?

馮翊綱
相聲瓦舍-比壞

I think I need to go chop off my own dick now. I don’t need my children growing up in a world populated by dipshits like you.

Salesman handling
IPhone-customers

I would rather get down with inmates. They're interesting, they're dramatic, they've overstepped the bounds of society. Some of it is high principle; some of it is low principle.
But these people are extraordinary. They're not ordinary. They are my people!

Tony Serra
Stanford Law School
Graduate

I like digging up dirt and shattering people's illusions about themselves

Blue [Devil]
Sinfest comics

If I were a better person, I'd ignore her and go on with my life. But I'm not.

Slappy Squirrel
Animaniacs

Skippy, in most cases, revenge is not the right thing. In other cases, it's the only thing

Slappy Squirrel
Animaniacs

We can't compete on price. We also can't compete on quality, features or service. That leaves fraud, which I'd like you to call marketing.

Pointy Haired Boss
Dilbert

I hate mankind, for I think of myself as one of the best of them, and I know how bad I am

Samuel Johnson

Look, Folks. I’m not in this business to make friends. I just love to wake people up.

Roy the Rooster
U.S. Acres (Orson’s Farm)

Sometimes it’s just hard to fight primal instincts

Garfield

Children are God’s way of punishing us for having sex

Holland Taylor
Two and a Half Men

There is no rehab for stupidity

Chris Rock
Late Night with David Letterman

Pointy Haired Boss: Who can define “Values”? Anyone?
Dilbert: Values are a type of emotional illusion common to children, idiots and non-engineers.

Scott Adams
Dilbert Comics 2010-12-07

這個時代的人,就是不肯接受殘酷的現實。
Translation: People in this time cannot handle the cruel reality.

心大聖PS

被欺負如果不還手的話,只會招到更大的羞辱
Translation: People are going to push it even further if one doesn’t fight back.

心大聖PS

If I had eight hours to chop down a tree, I'd spend six sharpening my axe

Abraham Lincon

The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.

Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a man healthy, but socially dead

Yakko
Animaniacs

If you assume there's no afterlife, you'll likely have a fuller, more interesting life

Stephen Fry
The Importance of Unbelief

I’ve spent my life caring, giving and searching for the profound. Now it’s time for selfishness, indifference and embracing the shallow

Wilson
House

I’m tired of treating the symptom. I want a way to attack the problem

Charlie
Numb3rs

Life is pain

House
House

Seems like an awful lot of trouble to go through for intercourse. Don't you have access to women who will do it for money? By the way, another accepted usage for the word 'ho'

Sheldon Cooper
The Big Bang Theory


學生: 咁即係有錢就乜都得啦
先生:錯!喺要有好多好多錢先至得!
Student: Doesn’t that mean that if you have money, anything goes?
(Stanford University) Teacher: Wrong! It only works if you have loads and loads of money!

倫文敘老點柳先開
The Kung Fu Scholar (1994)

銑錢鏟鋰鎰鑊、柑蕉桔梨蘿柚、雁鷲鵰狸獅狒

倫文敘老點柳先開
The Kung Fu Scholar (1994)

I don’t have kids. Condoms are cheaper

Mystro Clark
Comics Unleashed with Bryon Allen

With great power comes with great micromanaging.

House
House

All I want is to be a monkey of moderate intelligence who wears a suit … that’s why I’m transferring to business school!

Guenter
Futurama

走官路走不通,靠法律靠不住,要人没人,要法律没法律,自己也没武器,被欺负了去哪说? 说了谁理?
Translation: Government won’t help; law is not dependable; nobody would help; being unarmed, where can I go when I get bullied?

Summazheng
Youtube comments

Rules are for the guidance of the wise and the obedience of fools

Douglas Bader

Face reality as it is, not as it was or as you wish it to be

Jack Welch

If you don't have a competitive advantage, don't compete

Jack Welch

I don't look to jump over 7-foot bars: I look around for 1-foot bars that I can step over.

Warren Buffet

You ought to be able to explain why you’re taking the job you’re taking, why you’re making the investment you’re making, or whatever it may be. And if it can’t stand applying pencil to paper, you’d better think it through some more. And if you can’t write an intelligent answer to those questions, don't do it.

Warren Buffet

Life in prison was a breeze for me, because at that point I'd spent most of life at boarding school

Stephen Fry

Risk comes from not knowing what you're doing

Warren Buffet

We don’t care what smart people think. There aren’t that many of them.
We only need to convince our dumb customers. Dumb people believe anything.

PHD
Dilbert

I died on the inside years ago. Now I’m just a fleshy container full of coffee and resentment.

Wally
Dilbert

Life is like a sewer: what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

Tom Lehrer
An Evening with Tom Lehrer

No. Politicians don't wanna scare you, they wanna keep you stupid. Fear is just the smell when ignorance takes a shit

Sam Halpern
Shit My Dad Says

You screw without rubbers, kids happen. Sorry-you don’t get to have the dog without the dog shit

Sam Halpern
Shit My Dad Says

He's a politician. It's like being a hooker. You can't be one unless you can pretend to like people while you're fucking them

Sam Halpern
Shit My Dad Says

"They're offended? Fuck, shit, asshole, shitfuck; they're just words...Fine.
Shitfuck isn't a word, but you get my point.

Sam Halpern
Shit My Dad Says

Don't kiss an ass if it's in the process of shitting on you.

Sam Halpern
Shit My Dad Says

Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity

Hanlon's razor

It's arbitrary. Who's your pet, who's your food, who's your insurance salesman

Garbage Man
Dilbert

Here’s how my brain works: It’s stupidity, followed by self hatred, and then further analysis

Louis CK
Hilarious

They say everybody has a romantic match, and they say the key to happiness is to avoid that person at all costs

Dilbert Comics
October 3, 1992

もっとも邪悪な人間もまた、天使の顔をしているそうですよ

杉下右京
相棒3

We are building a dam.
A dam to stop the river of estrogen that is drowning us in political correctness.
We call the dam … the Man Show.

Jimmy Kimmel
The Man Show

Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do...

Adam Carolla
The Man Show

You know you've botched it when people sympathizes with lawyers

George W. Bush
White House Correspondent’s dinner

Porn is so deep

Squigly
Sinfest
(2006-09-21)

The good thing about having a computer is you can switch it off when you’ve finished – you can’t switch off a wife Gerrard

Disclaimer: For example, I don’t smoke. So go fig.

                                                                                                                                                    


 

MATLAB Ninja Skills

-          feature(‘GetPid’): Useful for parallel process management

-          feature(‘NumThreads’): Useful for parallel process management

-          legend(‘-DynamicLegend’): Remove the legend entry when your plot’s zoomed view doesn’t contain certain lines

-          graphics.cursorbar: shortcut to making dynamic cursor (I used image processing toolbox before this)


Elecronics and instrumentation hobby

I have the original Wavetek Waveforms DSP Software (with full print manual & box) for Model 75, 395 and various other models. Contact me for details.

Links to people with similar hobby (they are way more advanced than me)

-          ルーフタワーでKW(): Advantest R3131 repair [Quote: メカっぽいものに憧れる気持ちは、男ならだれでも持ってるような気がする。]

-          The Signal Path


Garage sale

SONY Specialized ICs/Parts For Repairing Professional Equipment (Official, Distributors).

IC#

Unit Model#

Part#

Part#

Last known market price

BX-365A

DBW5000P

874993651

874365100

$48.47 (UED Not Stocked)

BX-366A

NWB224

874993661 

874366100 

$48.47 (UED Not Stocked)

BX-1244A

FSE3016U

874112440

874112441 

$103.67 (UED Not Stocked)

BX-3931A

BVH2000 

874393110

874393110

$94.68 (UED Not Stocked)

BX-1040

DXCM3A 

874110400 874991040 

874110400

$88.10 (UED Not stocked)

BX-1227

 

874112270

 

$47.67 (UED Not stocked)

BX-381

BKU90, LVS5000

874381000
874993810

874381000
180077711

$48.47 (UED Not stocked)

BX-1387

KPR36XBR

874113870

874113870

$21.05 (UED Not stocked)

BX-3930

BVH2000

874993930

874393000

$116.67 (UED Not stocked)

HD-1B

DVPC1000

874990076

874990076

$78.78 (UED Not stocked)

 

4-352-844-01 Pin Lead Coating

435284401

 

 

The price depends on availability in the market: if you can find a place that's selling the above ICs, I can offer the ICs at half their price.

My parent's garage sale


Miscellaneous

For my own use only: Links